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【VNDS-5024】オナホール訪問販売員のおばさん2

Source global Wall Street Journal     time 2020-02-21 08:50:16
Typefacelarge in Small

【VNDS-5024】オナホール訪問販売員のおばさん2 �


`BeautifulSoup!Whocaresforfish,

Therewasatablesetoutunderatreeinfrontofthehouse,andtheMarchHareandtheHatterwerehavingteaatit:aDormousewassittingbetweenthem,fastasleep,andtheothertwowereusingitasacushion,restingtheirelbowsonit,andtalkingoveritshead.`VeryuncomfortablefortheDormouse,'thoughtAlice;`only,asit'sasleep,Isupposeitdoesn'tmind.'Thetablewasalargeone,butthethreewereallcrowdedtogetheratonecornerofit:`Noroom!Noroom!'theycriedoutwhentheysawAlicecoming.`There'sPLENTYofroom!'saidAliceindignantly,andshesatdowninalargearm-chairatoneendofthetable.`Havesomewine,'theMarchHaresaidinanencouragingtone.Alicelookedallroundthetable,buttherewasnothingonitbuttea.`Idon'tseeanywine,'sheremarked.`Thereisn'tany,'saidtheMarchHare.`Thenitwasn'tverycivilofyoutoofferit,'saidAliceangrily.`Itwasn'tverycivilofyoutositdownwithoutbeinginvited,'saidtheMarchHare.`Ididn'tknowitwasYOURtable,'saidAlice;`it'slaidforagreatmanymorethanthree.'`Yourhairwantscutting,'saidtheHatter.HehadbeenlookingatAliceforsometimewithgreatcuriosity,andthiswashisfirstspeech.`Youshouldlearnnottomakepersonalremarks,'Alicesaidwithsomeseverity;`it'sveryrude.'TheHatteropenedhiseyesverywideonhearingthis;butallheSAIDwas,`Whyisaravenlikeawriting-desk?'`Come,weshallhavesomefunnow!'thoughtAlice.`I'mgladthey'vebegunaskingriddles.--IbelieveIcanguessthat,'sheaddedaloud.`Doyoumeanthatyouthinkyoucanfindouttheanswertoit?'saidtheMarchHare.`Exactlyso,'saidAlice.`Thenyoushouldsaywhatyoumean,'theMarchHarewenton.`Ido,'Alicehastilyreplied;`atleast--atleastImeanwhatIsay--that'sthesamething,youknow.'`Notthesamethingabit!'saidtheHatter.`Youmightjustaswellsaythat"IseewhatIeat"isthesamethingas"IeatwhatIsee"!'`Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheMarchHare,`that"IlikewhatIget"isthesamethingas"IgetwhatIlike"!'`Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheDormouse,whoseemedtobetalkinginhissleep,`that"IbreathewhenIsleep"isthesamethingas"IsleepwhenIbreathe"!'`ItISthesamethingwithyou,'saidtheHatter,andheretheconversationdropped,andthepartysatsilentforaminute,whileAlicethoughtoverallshecouldrememberaboutravensandwriting-desks,whichwasn'tmuch.TheHatterwasthefirsttobreakthesilence.`Whatdayofthemonthisit?'hesaid,turningtoAlice:hehadtakenhiswatchoutofhispocket,andwaslookingatituneasily,shakingiteverynowandthen,andholdingittohisear.Aliceconsideredalittle,andthensaid`Thefourth.'`Twodayswrong!'sighedtheHatter.`Itoldyoubutterwouldn'tsuittheworks!'headdedlookingangrilyattheMarchHare.`ItwastheBESTbutter,'theMarchHaremeeklyreplied.`Yes,butsomecrumbsmusthavegotinaswell,'theHattergrumbled:`youshouldn'thaveputitinwiththebread-knife.'TheMarchHaretookthewatchandlookedatitgloomily:thenhedippeditintohiscupoftea,andlookedatitagain:buthecouldthinkofnothingbettertosaythanhisfirstremark,`ItwastheBESTbutter,youknow.'Alicehadbeenlookingoverhisshoulderwithsomecuriosity.`Whatafunnywatch!'sheremarked.`Ittellsthedayofthemonth,anddoesn'ttellwhato'clockitis!'`Whyshouldit?'mutteredtheHatter.`DoesYOURwatchtellyouwhatyearitis?'`Ofcoursenot,'Alicerepliedveryreadily:`butthat'sbecauseitstaysthesameyearforsuchalongtimetogether.'`WhichisjustthecasewithMINE,'saidtheHatter.Alicefeltdreadfullypuzzled.TheHatter'sremarkseemedtohavenosortofmeaninginit,andyetitwascertainlyEnglish.`Idon'tquiteunderstandyou,'shesaid,aspolitelyasshecould.`TheDormouseisasleepagain,'saidtheHatter,andhepouredalittlehotteauponitsnose.TheDormouseshookitsheadimpatiently,andsaid,withoutopeningitseyes,`Ofcourse,ofcourse;justwhatIwasgoingtoremarkmyself.'`Haveyouguessedtheriddleyet?'theHattersaid,turningtoAliceagain.`No,Igiveitup,'Alicereplied:`what'stheanswer?'`Ihaven'ttheslightestidea,'saidtheHatter.`NorI,'saidtheMarchHare.Alicesighedwearily.`Ithinkyoumightdosomethingbetterwiththetime,'shesaid,`thanwasteitinaskingriddlesthathavenoanswers.'`IfyouknewTimeaswellasIdo,'saidtheHatter,`youwouldn'ttalkaboutwastingIT.It'sHIM.'`Idon'tknowwhatyoumean,'saidAlice.`Ofcourseyoudon't!'theHattersaid,tossinghisheadcontemptuously.`IdaresayyouneverevenspoketoTime!'`Perhapsnot,'Alicecautiouslyreplied:`butIknowIhavetobeattimewhenIlearnmusic.'`Ah!thataccountsforit,'saidtheHatter.`Hewon'tstandbeating.Now,ifyouonlykeptongoodtermswithhim,he'ddoalmostanythingyoulikedwiththeclock.Forinstance,supposeitwerenineo'clockinthemorning,justtimetobeginlessons:you'donlyhavetowhisperahinttoTime,androundgoestheclockinatwinkling!Half-pastone,timefordinner!'(`Ionlywishitwas,'theMarchHaresaidtoitselfinawhisper.)`Thatwouldbegrand,certainly,'saidAlicethoughtfully:`butthen--Ishouldn'tbehungryforit,youknow.'`Notatfirst,perhaps,'saidtheHatter:`butyoucouldkeepittohalf-pastoneaslongasyouliked.'`IsthatthewayYOUmanage?'Aliceasked.TheHattershookhisheadmournfully.`NotI!'hereplied.`WequarrelledlastMarch--justbeforeHEwentmad,youknow--'(pointingwithhisteaspoonattheMarchHare,)`--itwasatthegreatconcertgivenbytheQueenofHearts,andIhadtosing

Alargerose-treestoodneartheentranceofthegarden:therosesgrowingonitwerewhite,buttherewerethreegardenersatit,busilypaintingthemred.Alicethoughtthisaverycuriousthing,andshewentnearertowatchthem,andjustasshecameuptothemsheheardoneofthemsay,`Lookoutnow,Five!Don'tgosplashingpaintovermelikethat!'`Icouldn'thelpit,'saidFive,inasulkytone;`Sevenjoggedmyelbow.'OnwhichSevenlookedupandsaid,`That'sright,Five!Alwayslaytheblameonothers!'`YOU'Dbetternottalk!'saidFive.`IheardtheQueensayonlyyesterdayyoudeservedtobebeheaded!'`Whatfor?'saidtheonewhohadspokenfirst.`That'snoneofYOURbusiness,Two!'saidSeven.`Yes,itIShisbusiness!'saidFive,`andI'lltellhim--itwasforbringingthecooktulip-rootsinsteadofonions.'Sevenflungdownhisbrush,andhadjustbegun`Well,ofalltheunjustthings--'whenhiseyechancedtofalluponAlice,asshestoodwatchingthem,andhecheckedhimselfsuddenly:theotherslookedroundalso,andallofthembowedlow.`Wouldyoutellme,'saidAlice,alittletimidly,`whyyouarepaintingthoseroses?'FiveandSevensaidnothing,butlookedatTwo.Twobeganinalowvoice,`Whythefactis,yousee,Miss,thishereoughttohavebeenaREDrose-tree,andweputawhiteoneinbymistake;andiftheQueenwastofinditout,weshouldallhaveourheadscutoff,youknow.Soyousee,Miss,we'redoingourbest,aforeshecomes,to--'AtthismomentFive,whohadbeenanxiouslylookingacrossthegarden,calledout`TheQueen!TheQueen!'andthethreegardenersinstantlythrewthemselvesflatupontheirfaces.Therewasasoundofmanyfootsteps,andAlicelookedround,eagertoseetheQueen.Firstcametensoldierscarryingclubs;thesewereallshapedlikethethreegardeners,oblongandflat,withtheirhandsandfeetatthecorners:nextthetencourtiers;thesewereornamentedalloverwithdiamonds,andwalkedtwoandtwo,asthesoldiersdid.Afterthesecametheroyalchildren;thereweretenofthem,andthelittledearscamejumpingmerrilyalonghandinhand,incouples:theywereallornamentedwithhearts.Nextcametheguests,mostlyKingsandQueens,andamongthemAlicerecognisedtheWhiteRabbit:itwastalkinginahurriednervousmanner,smilingateverythingthatwassaid,andwentbywithoutnoticingher.ThenfollowedtheKnaveofHearts,carryingtheKing'scrownonacrimsonvelvetcushion;and,lastofallthisgrandprocession,cameTHEKINGANDQUEENOFHEARTS.Alicewasratherdoubtfulwhethersheoughtnottoliedownonherfacelikethethreegardeners,butshecouldnotremembereverhavingheardofsucharuleatprocessions;`andbesides,whatwouldbetheuseofaprocession,'thoughtshe,`ifpeoplehadalltoliedownupontheirfaces,sothattheycouldn'tseeit?'Soshestoodstillwhereshewas,andwaited.WhentheprocessioncameoppositetoAlice,theyallstoppedandlookedather,andtheQueensaidseverely`Whoisthis?'ShesaidittotheKnaveofHearts,whoonlybowedandsmiledinreply.`Idiot!'saidtheQueen,tossingherheadimpatiently;and,turningtoAlice,shewenton,`What'syourname,child?'`MynameisAlice,sopleaseyourMajesty,'saidAliceverypolitely;butsheadded,toherself,`Why,they'reonlyapackofcards,afterall.Ineedn'tbeafraidofthem!'`AndwhoareTHESE?'saidtheQueen,pointingtothethreegardenerswhowerelyingroundtherosetree;for,yousee,astheywerelyingontheirfaces,andthepatternontheirbackswasthesameastherestofthepack,shecouldnottellwhethertheyweregardeners,orsoldiers,orcourtiers,orthreeofherownchildren.`HowshouldIknow?'saidAlice,surprisedatherowncourage.`It'snobusinessofMINE.'TheQueenturnedcrimsonwithfury,and,afterglaringatherforamomentlikeawildbeast,screamed`Offwithherhead!Off--'`Nonsense!'saidAlice,veryloudlyanddecidedly,andtheQueenwassilent.TheKinglaidhishanduponherarm,andtimidlysaid`Consider,mydear:sheisonlyachild!'TheQueenturnedangrilyawayfromhim,andsaidtotheKnave`Turnthemover!'TheKnavedidso,verycarefully,withonefoot.`Getup!'saidtheQueen,inashrill,loudvoice,andthethreegardenersinstantlyjumpedup,andbeganbowingtotheKing,theQueen,theroyalchildren,andeverybodyelse.`Leaveoffthat!'screamedtheQueen.`Youmakemegiddy.'Andthen,turningtotherose-tree,shewenton,`WhatHAVEyoubeendoinghere?'`MayitpleaseyourMajesty,'saidTwo,inaveryhumbletone,goingdownononekneeashespoke,`weweretrying--'`Isee!'saidtheQueen,whohadmeanwhilebeenexaminingtheroses.`Offwiththeirheads!'andtheprocessionmovedon,threeofthesoldiersremainingbehindtoexecutetheunfortunategardeners,whorantoAliceforprotection.`Youshan'tbebeheaded!'saidAlice,andsheputthemintoalargeflower-potthatstoodnear.Thethreesoldierswanderedaboutforaminuteortwo,lookingforthem,andthenquietlymarchedoffaftertheothers.`Aretheirheadsoff?'shoutedtheQueen.`Theirheadsaregone,ifitpleaseyourMajesty!'thesoldiersshoutedinreply.`That'sright!'shoutedtheQueen.`Canyouplaycroquet?'Thesoldiersweresilent,andlookedatAlice,asthequestionwasevidentlymeantforher.`Yes!'shoutedAlice.`Comeon,then!'roaredtheQueen,andAlicejoinedtheprocession,wonderingverymuchwhatwouldhappennext.`It's--it'saveryfineday!'saidatimidvoiceatherside.ShewaswalkingbytheWhiteRabbit,whowaspeepinganxiouslyintoherface.`Very,'saidAlice:`--where'stheDuchess?'`Hush!Hush!'saidtheRabbitinalow,hurriedtone.Helookedanxiouslyoverhisshoulderashespoke,andthenraisedhimselfupontiptoe,puthismouthclosetoherear,andwhispered`She'sundersentenceofexecution.'`Whatfor?'saidAlice.`Didyousay"Whatapity!"?'theRabbitasked.`No,Ididn't,'saidAlice:`Idon'tthinkit'satallapity.Isaid"Whatfor?"'`SheboxedtheQueen'sears--'theRabbitbegan.Alicegavealittlescreamoflaughter.`Oh,hush!'theRabbitwhisperedinafrightenedtone.`TheQueenwillhearyou!Yousee,shecameratherlate,andtheQueensaid--'`Gettoyourplaces!'shoutedtheQueeninavoiceofthunder,andpeoplebeganrunningaboutinalldirections,tumblingupagainsteachother;however,theygotsettleddowninaminuteortwo,andthegamebegan.Alicethoughtshehadneverseensuchacuriouscroquet-groundinherlife;itwasallridgesandfurrows;theballswerelivehedgehogs,themalletsliveflamingoes,andthesoldiershadtodoublethemselvesupandtostandontheirhandsandfeet,tomakethearches.ThechiefdifficultyAlicefoundatfirstwasinmanagingherflamingo:shesucceededingettingitsbodytuckedaway,comfortablyenough,underherarm,withitslegshangingdown,butgenerally,justasshehadgotitsnecknicelystraightenedout,andwasgoingtogivethehedgehogablowwithitshead,itWOULDtwistitselfroundandlookupinherface,withsuchapuzzledexpressionthatshecouldnothelpburstingoutlaughing:andwhenshehadgotitsheaddown,andwasgoingtobeginagain,itwasveryprovokingtofindthatthehedgehoghadunrolleditself,andwasintheactofcrawlingaway:besidesallthis,therewasgenerallyaridgeorfurrowinthewaywherevershewantedtosendthehedgehogto,and,asthedoubled-upsoldierswerealwaysgettingupandwalkingofftootherpartsoftheground,Alicesooncametotheconclusionthatitwasaverydifficultgameindeed.Theplayersallplayedatoncewithoutwaitingforturns,quarrellingallthewhile,andfightingforthehedgehogs;andinaveryshorttimetheQueenwasinafuriouspassion,andwentstampingabout,andshouting`Offwithhishead!'or`Offwithherhead!'aboutonceinaminute.Alicebegantofeelveryuneasy:tobesure,shehadnotasyethadanydisputewiththeQueen,butsheknewthatitmighthappenanyminute,`andthen,'thoughtshe,`whatwouldbecomeofme?They'redreadfullyfondofbeheadingpeoplehere;thegreatwonderis,thatthere'sanyoneleftalive!'Shewaslookingaboutforsomewayofescape,andwonderingwhethershecouldgetawaywithoutbeingseen,whenshenoticedacuriousappearanceintheair:itpuzzledherverymuchatfirst,but,afterwatchingitaminuteortwo,shemadeitouttobeagrin,andshesaidtoherself`It'stheCheshireCat:nowIshallhavesomebodytotalkto.'`Howareyougettingon?'saidtheCat,assoonastherewasmouthenoughforittospeakwith.Alicewaitedtilltheeyesappeared,andthennodded.`It'snousespeakingtoit,'shethought,`tillitsearshavecome,oratleastoneofthem.'Inanotherminutethewholeheadappeared,andthenAliceputdownherflamingo,andbegananaccountofthegame,feelingverygladshehadsomeonetolistentoher.TheCatseemedtothinkthattherewasenoughofitnowinsight,andnomoreofitappeared.`Idon'tthinktheyplayatallfairly,'Alicebegan,inratheracomplainingtone,`andtheyallquarrelsodreadfullyonecan'thearoneselfspeak--andtheydon'tseemtohaveanyrulesinparticular;atleast,ifthereare,nobodyattendstothem--andyou'venoideahowconfusingitisallthethingsbeingalive;forinstance,there'sthearchI'vegottogothroughnextwalkingaboutattheotherendoftheground--andIshouldhavecroquetedtheQueen'shedgehogjustnow,onlyitranawaywhenitsawminecoming!'`HowdoyouliketheQueen?'saidtheCatinalowvoice.`Notatall,'saidAlice:`she'ssoextremely--'JustthenshenoticedthattheQueenwasclosebehindher,listening:soshewenton,`--likelytowin,thatit'shardlyworthwhilefinishingthegame.'TheQueensmiledandpassedon.`WhoAREyoutalkingto?'saidtheKing,goinguptoAlice,andlookingattheCat'sheadwithgreatcuriosity.`It'safriendofmine--aCheshireCat,'saidAlice:`allowmetointroduceit.'`Idon'tlikethelookofitatall,'saidtheKing:`however,itmaykissmyhandifitlikes.'`I'drathernot,'theCatremarked.`Don'tbeimpertinent,'saidtheKing,`anddon'tlookatmelikethat!'HegotbehindAliceashespoke.`Acatmaylookataking,'saidAlice.`I'vereadthatinsomebook,butIdon'trememberwhere.'`Well,itmustberemoved,'saidtheKingverydecidedly,andhecalledtheQueen,whowaspassingatthemoment,`Mydear!Iwishyouwouldhavethiscatremoved!'TheQueenhadonlyonewayofsettlingalldifficulties,greatorsmall.`Offwithhishead!'shesaid,withoutevenlookinground.`I'llfetchtheexecutionermyself,'saidtheKingeagerly,andhehurriedoff.Alicethoughtshemightaswellgoback,andseehowthegamewasgoingon,assheheardtheQueen'svoiceinthedistance,screamingwithpassion.Shehadalreadyheardhersentencethreeoftheplayerstobeexecutedforhavingmissedtheirturns,andshedidnotlikethelookofthingsatall,asthegamewasinsuchconfusionthatsheneverknewwhetheritwasherturnornot.Soshewentinsearchofherhedgehog.Thehedgehogwasengagedinafightwithanotherhedgehog,whichseemedtoAliceanexcellentopportunityforcroquetingoneofthemwiththeother:theonlydifficultywas,thatherflamingowasgoneacrosstotheothersideofthegarden,whereAlicecouldseeittryinginahelplesssortofwaytoflyupintoatree.Bythetimeshehadcaughttheflamingoandbroughtitback,thefightwasover,andboththehedgehogswereoutofsight:`butitdoesn'tmattermuch,'thoughtAlice,`asallthearchesaregonefromthissideoftheground.'Soshetuckeditawayunderherarm,thatitmightnotescapeagain,andwentbackforalittlemoreconversationwithherfriend.WhenshegotbacktotheCheshireCat,shewassurprisedtofindquitealargecrowdcollectedroundit:therewasadisputegoingonbetweentheexecutioner,theKing,andtheQueen,whowerealltalkingatonce,whilealltherestwerequitesilent,andlookedveryuncomfortable.ThemomentAliceappeared,shewasappealedtobyallthreetosettlethequestion,andtheyrepeatedtheirargumentstoher,though,astheyallspokeatonce,shefounditveryhardindeedtomakeoutexactlywhattheysaid.Theexecutioner'sargumentwas,thatyoucouldn'tcutoffaheadunlesstherewasabodytocutitofffrom:thathehadneverhadtodosuchathingbefore,andhewasn'tgoingtobeginatHIStimeoflife.TheKing'sargumentwas,thatanythingthathadaheadcouldbebeheaded,andthatyouweren'ttotalknonsense.TheQueen'sargumentwas,thatifsomethingwasn'tdoneaboutitinlessthannotimeshe'dhaveeverybodyexecuted,allround.(Itwasthislastremarkthathadmadethewholepartylooksograveandanxious.)Alicecouldthinkofnothingelsetosaybut`ItbelongstotheDuchess:you'dbetteraskHERaboutit.'`She'sinprison,'theQueensaidtotheexecutioner:`fetchherhere.'Andtheexecutionerwentofflikeanarrow.TheCat'sheadbeganfadingawaythemomenthewasgone,and,bythetimehehadcomebackwiththeDutchess,ithadentirelydisappeared;sotheKingandtheexecutionerranwildlyupanddownlookingforit,whiletherestofthepartywentbacktothegame.

Therewasatablesetoutunderatreeinfrontofthehouse,andtheMarchHareandtheHatterwerehavingteaatit:aDormousewassittingbetweenthem,fastasleep,andtheothertwowereusingitasacushion,restingtheirelbowsonit,andtalkingoveritshead.`VeryuncomfortablefortheDormouse,'thoughtAlice;`only,asit'sasleep,Isupposeitdoesn'tmind.'Thetablewasalargeone,butthethreewereallcrowdedtogetheratonecornerofit:`Noroom!Noroom!'theycriedoutwhentheysawAlicecoming.`There'sPLENTYofroom!'saidAliceindignantly,andshesatdowninalargearm-chairatoneendofthetable.`Havesomewine,'theMarchHaresaidinanencouragingtone.Alicelookedallroundthetable,buttherewasnothingonitbuttea.`Idon'tseeanywine,'sheremarked.`Thereisn'tany,'saidtheMarchHare.`Thenitwasn'tverycivilofyoutoofferit,'saidAliceangrily.`Itwasn'tverycivilofyoutositdownwithoutbeinginvited,'saidtheMarchHare.`Ididn'tknowitwasYOURtable,'saidAlice;`it'slaidforagreatmanymorethanthree.'`Yourhairwantscutting,'saidtheHatter.HehadbeenlookingatAliceforsometimewithgreatcuriosity,andthiswashisfirstspeech.`Youshouldlearnnottomakepersonalremarks,'Alicesaidwithsomeseverity;`it'sveryrude.'TheHatteropenedhiseyesverywideonhearingthis;butallheSAIDwas,`Whyisaravenlikeawriting-desk?'`Come,weshallhavesomefunnow!'thoughtAlice.`I'mgladthey'vebegunaskingriddles.--IbelieveIcanguessthat,'sheaddedaloud.`Doyoumeanthatyouthinkyoucanfindouttheanswertoit?'saidtheMarchHare.`Exactlyso,'saidAlice.`Thenyoushouldsaywhatyoumean,'theMarchHarewenton.`Ido,'Alicehastilyreplied;`atleast--atleastImeanwhatIsay--that'sthesamething,youknow.'`Notthesamethingabit!'saidtheHatter.`Youmightjustaswellsaythat"IseewhatIeat"isthesamethingas"IeatwhatIsee"!'`Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheMarchHare,`that"IlikewhatIget"isthesamethingas"IgetwhatIlike"!'`Youmightjustaswellsay,'addedtheDormouse,whoseemedtobetalkinginhissleep,`that"IbreathewhenIsleep"isthesamethingas"IsleepwhenIbreathe"!'`ItISthesamethingwithyou,'saidtheHatter,andheretheconversationdropped,andthepartysatsilentforaminute,whileAlicethoughtoverallshecouldrememberaboutravensandwriting-desks,whichwasn'tmuch.TheHatterwasthefirsttobreakthesilence.`Whatdayofthemonthisit?'hesaid,turningtoAlice:hehadtakenhiswatchoutofhispocket,andwaslookingatituneasily,shakingiteverynowandthen,andholdingittohisear.Aliceconsideredalittle,andthensaid`Thefourth.'`Twodayswrong!'sighedtheHatter.`Itoldyoubutterwouldn'tsuittheworks!'headdedlookingangrilyattheMarchHare.`ItwastheBESTbutter,'theMarchHaremeeklyreplied.`Yes,butsomecrumbsmusthavegotinaswell,'theHattergrumbled:`youshouldn'thaveputitinwiththebread-knife.'TheMarchHaretookthewatchandlookedatitgloomily:thenhedippeditintohiscupoftea,andlookedatitagain:buthecouldthinkofnothingbettertosaythanhisfirstremark,`ItwastheBESTbutter,youknow.'Alicehadbeenlookingoverhisshoulderwithsomecuriosity.`Whatafunnywatch!'sheremarked.`Ittellsthedayofthemonth,anddoesn'ttellwhato'clockitis!'`Whyshouldit?'mutteredtheHatter.`DoesYOURwatchtellyouwhatyearitis?'`Ofcoursenot,'Alicerepliedveryreadily:`butthat'sbecauseitstaysthesameyearforsuchalongtimetogether.'`WhichisjustthecasewithMINE,'saidtheHatter.Alicefeltdreadfullypuzzled.TheHatter'sremarkseemedtohavenosortofmeaninginit,andyetitwascertainlyEnglish.`Idon'tquiteunderstandyou,'shesaid,aspolitelyasshecould.`TheDormouseisasleepagain,'saidtheHatter,andhepouredalittlehotteauponitsnose.TheDormouseshookitsheadimpatiently,andsaid,withoutopeningitseyes,`Ofcourse,ofcourse;justwhatIwasgoingtoremarkmyself.'`Haveyouguessedtheriddleyet?'theHattersaid,turningtoAliceagain.`No,Igiveitup,'Alicereplied:`what'stheanswer?'`Ihaven'ttheslightestidea,'saidtheHatter.`NorI,'saidtheMarchHare.Alicesighedwearily.`Ithinkyoumightdosomethingbetterwiththetime,'shesaid,`thanwasteitinaskingriddlesthathavenoanswers.'`IfyouknewTimeaswellasIdo,'saidtheHatter,`youwouldn'ttalkaboutwastingIT.It'sHIM.'`Idon'tknowwhatyoumean,'saidAlice.`Ofcourseyoudon't!'theHattersaid,tossinghisheadcontemptuously.`IdaresayyouneverevenspoketoTime!'`Perhapsnot,'Alicecautiouslyreplied:`butIknowIhavetobeattimewhenIlearnmusic.'`Ah!thataccountsforit,'saidtheHatter.`Hewon'tstandbeating.Now,ifyouonlykeptongoodtermswithhim,he'ddoalmostanythingyoulikedwiththeclock.Forinstance,supposeitwerenineo'clockinthemorning,justtimetobeginlessons:you'donlyhavetowhisperahinttoTime,androundgoestheclockinatwinkling!Half-pastone,timefordinner!'(`Ionlywishitwas,'theMarchHaresaidtoitselfinawhisper.)`Thatwouldbegrand,certainly,'saidAlicethoughtfully:`butthen--Ishouldn'tbehungryforit,youknow.'`Notatfirst,perhaps,'saidtheHatter:`butyoucouldkeepittohalf-pastoneaslongasyouliked.'`IsthatthewayYOUmanage?'Aliceasked.TheHattershookhisheadmournfully.`NotI!'hereplied.`WequarrelledlastMarch--justbeforeHEwentmad,youknow--'(pointingwithhisteaspoonattheMarchHare,)`--itwasatthegreatconcertgivenbytheQueenofHearts,andIhadtosing

Waskindlypermittedtopocketthespoon:

Alice'sEvidence

Beau--ootifulSoo--oop!

TheKnaveofHearts,hestolethosetarts,

Andmentionedmetohim:


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